So these last few days have been a friggin wreck to say the least. I have been caught up in some choices I have made and have hurt people again.. Way to go Josh, you make me so proud... Amanda and I have the papers and found out that the cost of a divorce is going to cost more than thought, but like the very "bright" say, "look at all the money your saving not using lawyers." Hey, people, "look how much I care about the so called lawyer money." God, Amanda would always tell me that it seemed like I was always about money, on many levels, I have been. But, EVERYTHING COSTS MONEY. It cost money to replace, it cost money to keep on, it cost money to keep running. So, in the end, PEOPLE ARE ABOUT MONEY, if your not, then STOPPING EATING OUT, STOP PAYING BILLS, STOP BUYING CLOTHES, STOP BUYING GIFTS AND STOP LIVING. Man, its silly I guess but yeah. Need to type here and move on to my topic.....
Where is my rock bottom? Um, I guess on many levels I have different "rock bottoms". I have many issues and things that bind me (I AM NOT WRITING THIS TO HAVE SOMEONE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT GOD RIGHT NOW) and keep me from becoming who I'm suppose to be. I have critics out there who think I'm a total mess up. That matters a bit but, I am my biggest critic. I'm harder on myself than anyone else could ever be. But still, you have those, who have their own ISSUES that feel like they can look down on me, or say things about me. Two face people I guess. Then if I have the "b@*ls" to say something, then it becomes a battle of wills, which is never good. My rock bottom in other area's has come. Some havent at this point came. I know that if I dont start pressing into a pure heart change, then I will meet my rock bottom in those area's too. I can't get away with anything, I am always found out, and if I'm not found out, I tell on myself. Conviction helps out a lot too, but then some ask, "why doesn't your conviction help in making the choice?" To that I say, "don't know!" That is it..
So in ending, where is my rock bottom? I don't plan on seeing or feeling another one.
This was just MYtrueTHOUGHTS
